I'm Always Right.

High School

2008-07-28T11:33:00.002-04:00

Its weird when people you are close to make you feel like you are back in High School. I guess we never do grow up.

Boston

2008-07-07T14:22:00.001-04:00

Sorry all, I have been out of town.

Boston was amazing. ONE DAY I SHALL LIVE THERE!

Anyways, here is a pretty photo album of my trip:
http://picasaweb.google.com/misterorff/BostonJuly08

Proof that Romance is not dead.

2008-06-26T14:47:00.000-04:00

As seen on Craiglist. Thanks Cory.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/mis/733383905.html

you caught me taking a dump in the alley by JR's - m4m - 29 (JR's-- outside)

So it was Tuesday night and you bumped in to me while I was taking a deuce in the alley behind JR's. I think you just wanted to check out what all the grunting was about. Anyhoos-- thanks for not telling the manager/police.

Thought you were really cute-- let me know if you wanna meet up some time and I'll be sure to wipe this time around ;-)

Happy Birthday Michael

2008-06-23T12:42:00.004-04:00

Michael Tristin McCreery had his first birthday this weekend. To commemorate, we all got together and gave him stuff. Ella went too!

Gonna start a new religion based on this.

2008-06-18T10:01:00.002-04:00

This song is by Cloud Cult. Its called Story Of The Grandson of Jesus. Its amazing. I am going to be starting a new religion called The Grandchildren of Jesus and we will live by the lyrics in this song:

today is a good day to flex the muscles of the weary
a miracle is a miracle even when it's ordinary
we will walk on the water even though it seems scary
if someone will show us the way

i shook hands with the man who honestly thinks he's
the grandson of Jesus with the penchant for pinches
he served us communion of cola and twinkies
guess everyone has their own view

he stood on his soap box and told us a parable
of a man with eyeglasses so small they're unwearable
and the moral of the story is it all looks terrible
depending on what you look through, *what* you look through

he said "do unto yourself as you do unto your neighbour
it's not an eye for an eye it's a favour for a favour
and it's okay if this world had a billion saviours
'cause there's so many things to be saved

take my words with a boulder of salt
or blame it on your devil
always the scapegoats fault
we all point fingers when it comes to a halt
can somebody show us the way, show us the way...

and here is them doing it live.

Vote Republican

2008-06-16T08:51:00.000-04:00

For Reals.

New post later with weekend pictures.

I am a Minister

2008-06-13T15:01:00.002-04:00

I am now an Ordained Minster in ULC!!! HOORAY!

1 Year

2008-06-11T08:08:00.002-04:00

Its mine and Michael's Anniversary! And just think, when we met we hated each other. Awwww. I bought him a "Get Well Soon" card; I figured after a year with him he would need it.

Vegan Steaks

2008-06-09T10:36:00.002-04:00

Ben and Laura hate eating meat... so they turn to Satan and make their steaks. Satan Steaks are wheat steaks made in the bowels of hell, where there is an abundance of wheat. They were INCREDIBLY tasty too! I did have to eat REAL steak last night though, just to remind myself to never go Vegan.

No No, thats not right at all.

2008-06-05T11:39:00.001-04:00

I guess this is a "no win" situation. This happened to me today. Don't ask me how...

and then THIS happened.

2008-06-04T08:14:00.003-04:00

Pretty amazing. Thanks to Kellie for letting me watch CNN instead of some damn baseball game.

So what does this mean? It means you have to vote in November. It also means the Wolf Blitzer is still amazing after all these years. Look at him. Look at how tiny he is compared to Barack Obama's face.

Trivia Night

2008-06-04T08:03:00.003-04:00

So it was another fantastic Triva Night at Napper Tandys in Raleigh. Just wanted to post a few pictures and let everyone know that once again, Mayonnaise lost... BUT I got the answer right about JR Ewing. I rule. Anyways, Here is Laura. She is amazing:
Here is Ben, Laura's other half. He is also amazing:

Everyone looks so smart:

Yeah, fuck you too man!

Ok, Michael isn't looking and there is no camera around. Lets do this!

Needless to say (but I will say it anyway) that it was once again an amazing night with friends.

I have 2 chins, and you are a bitch

2008-06-04T07:58:00.003-04:00

See Laura, I keep my promises.

Ms. Ella meets the Paparazi

2008-06-02T13:21:00.005-04:00

Breaking News: Ella O. was seen once again being pushed around Lake Pine. Is that a PACIFIER? We heard she kicked the habit long ago. Lies I tell you. LIES!

We attempted to question a Goose, but he was Canadian and as such, refused to answer our question.

This is how it went down:

Poker Last Night

2008-06-02T08:31:00.003-04:00

Ok so I brought my new camera to poker and forgot the cable to upload the pics today. Arg. Sorry. Anyways a review of the pictures: Dave eating an imaginary sandwich, Dave and Kevin, Richard blocking my view, my chips when I was chip leader... me going out a few minutes after... etc. etc. etc.

Also, the game ended in the Horde turtling the flag in their base. If you know what that means, then you are a nerd like me. If not, basically someone had a shit ton of chips but wouldn't actually play the game... so he just sat there with chips... making the game last FOREVER. It was so annoying.

I also played Cooking Mama on the Nintendo Wii. Did you know that EVERY recipe in the world has 5 eggs in it? Me neither. On a happier note, I know how to make gnocci now. Basically you peal a potato, smash it up, roll it into dough... ummm... cut the dough... and cook it. I am sure it isn't that simple in real life... but I pealed a fake potato with a Wiimote so I have still done more than you about it!

You jerk.

EDIT: Got some pics, in no particular order: Me on the shitter, Kevin's Snake, Shark's Head, Dave's imaginary sandwich, and Eric mit dem shake.

I got a Camera

2008-05-30T21:05:00.001-04:00

Alright folks, gonna post some pics. My first night with the camera. Me, the dogs, some crazy people. Hopefully will use this camera more often and show you my incredible life. The End.

HRC

2008-05-30T15:16:00.001-04:00

Just watch.

Even people in Kenya are bored.

2008-05-30T10:08:00.002-04:00

So I am so bored today that I literally did a google image search on the word "bored." This image caught my attention. Its from a wikipedia article. The picture is literally called "Bored Women In Kenya."

What the hell do they have to be bored about??? They don't work desk jobs! Makes me sick. I want to go over there and say "You know, there are desk jockeys in America who would love some of your exciting time and Kenya Adventuring, and you SQUANDER it!"

And then they are all like "Well then they can come over here and take it from us." To which I reply "Ug" and then go play Solitaire again.

Seriously though (HA just kidding) I am sitting at work. I have LOTS I could be doing but am not because a) it is Friday, and b) EVERYONE IS GOLFING TODAY BUT ME AND LISA! Why the hell should I work when no one else is? WHY?

And don't say "because of your values and hard workmanship" or any bull like that. Also, someone is calling me right now with a local phone number who is not saved in my phone. If I don't know you, I am not answering, EVEN AS BORED AS I AM!

Let's see who it was...

... checking...

... ok it was my Doctor's office reminding me of my appointment next week. I guess they are allowed to call me.

Yesterday Colleen said something about "Little People" and I said that I hated them. Not because of the "little" part. No. I hate them for the "People" part. If they were smart they would choose something else. I just plane don't like people. Do I like Blacks? YES! Do I like Black People? No. Same for white people, asian people, hispanic people. If you want me to like your race, leave the "People" part out of it. I just hate people.

What the hell was I talking about? Oh yes, boredom. Well, Dan just showed up. Time to act busy. Guess no one invited him golfing either... HA!

Not going to talk about Lost.

2008-05-30T09:09:00.003-04:00

more cat pictures

So I am getting a new camera today so I can hopefully start taking images of my life. I don't take enough pictures. I will still be using pictures of LOLCats though wherever I deem necessary.

Also... not going to talk about Lost...

WESLEY ON CHICKEN

2008-05-29T16:22:00.002-04:00

Hey Guys, if you have never watched Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show, you need to. Here is this week's episode, starring Wil Wheaton!!!

UPS Men

2008-05-29T09:30:00.001-04:00

Let me first say I am 100% Faithful to my boyfriend and I would never ever ever ever cheat on him ever...

...but I am a human being who has eyes, and dammit, I use them. So I am in the gym locker room the other day, and usually my gym is filled with gross over-weight old men who just walk around naked making me vomit. Well, the other day I was pleasantly surprised to see a Hot, Tan, Muscly, Naked man walking around the locker room. He Was Gorgeous, and all smiles. I mean, his reproductive organ wasn't anything to write home about, but whatever. So I am TRYING not to stare and just getting ready for my workout... when suddenly he gets dressed...

... and he is wearing his UPS uniform. At this point, I almost lose it. How can a hot tan muscly guy get MORE attractive by getting dressed? What is it about what brown does for me?

So yes, I really do fantasize about the UPS guy. Not Fed Ex, not DSW or whatever they are called. Nope. Just UPS men. I really do think for my birthday one year, Michael should dress like the UPS man and bring me a package. Wow, the double entendre shall never cease...

This was for you Larua.

Its Being Taken Care Of

2008-05-29T09:05:00.001-04:00

Snuggles is in charge of this blog. Please direct your questions to him.

more cat pictures

Web 2.0 Made Me Do It.

2008-05-29T08:27:00.000-04:00

So it seems like everyone either blogs, or starts a blog every few months only to leave it by the wayside, eating up precious internet bandwidth. I have tried to blog in the past. I have tried to even blog about important things in the past. Screw that. I am now going to blog about the important thing: Me. Ha cha cha chaaaa.

Shit, I am bored already.